The Weather Outside is Frightful...I Better Buy Some Milk

I guess it was about last week at this time when the Big News hit. The weather guy calmly said the National Weather Service had issued a winter storm alert for St. Louis, and he'd have details after the commercial break.

Egad! Winter storm alert?! I ran to the garage, threw on my galoshes, and ran back to the living room. The commercial break was still going. Some dude with bad hair was telling me that I like nice things. That's just silly. I don't like nice things. I'm really sort of apathetic about nice things. Furniture is the missus's department. If she let me decorate, our couch would be upholstered in Rams logos.

The weather guy was back. He was talking about sleet.

Egad! Sleet?! I'd almost forgotten. I got up to run to the garage, then remembered my galoshes were already on. I cranked the sound up. We'd have a mixture of sleet and freezing rain overnight, extending into the morning rush hour.

Egad! Rush hour?! I sprung into the kitchen and checked on our supply of milk and bread. We had a full gallon of milk and two loaves of bread. Not enough. I grabbed my coat.

When I got to Schnucks, some guy was standing out front ringing a bell. I was stunned that he could be so blasé during a time like this. I dashed to the bakery. They were down to one loaf of pumpernickel and one loaf of pre-buttered garlic bread. Dang. I kicked myself for not listening to the forecast earlier. Everyone got the jump on me. I vowed to check the weather forecast every hour until spring.

In the meantime, I had to decide between the pumpernickel and garlic bread. Mmm, garlic bread. Now there's something I like. Don't tell me I like nice things. Tell me I like garlic bread. Maybe if he offered people free garlic bread in his store, he'd sell more nice things. I grabbed the garlic bread.

The dairy section was worse than the bread aisle. Completely empty except for a half-gallon of egg nog. I like egg nog, but it makes my stomach hurt. Then again, the same could be said about White Castle cheeseburgers. I snagged the jug of nog.

When I got home, I flipped on Channel 5. What the...? They didn't have the giant weather map on the screen. How could I track the storm without the giant weather map? What was I supposed to do, watch the shows? Confused, I sat through an entire evening's worth of Must See TV, but they never put up the weather map.

The 10 p.m. news finally arrived. I wasn't sure whether to watch the Doppler 5 forecast, or flip to 4Warn Weather. 4Warn Weather seemed more appropriate. They clearly had a better grasp on the gravity of the situation. Sleet was coming, dang it. I needed to be 4Warned.

It was pretty much the same forecast I'd seen at six. I chuckled at all the poor idiots who were hearing about the sleet for the first time and realizing they didn't have enough milk or bread. I sure got the jump on them.

I awoke at 5:30 a.m. and checked out the window. Sure enough, it had sleeted. The lawn was covered with it. The street looked strangely clear, but that was irrelevant.

I got dressed, tossed my egg nog and garlic bread in the trunk of the car, and hit the road. I had to leave early, because it was gonna take some time to get to work at 20 miles per hour.

I watched with envy as four-wheel-drive SUVs whizzed past. I wished I owned a four-wheel drive. Then I could have gone 80 miles per hour through the ice and slush, laughing at saps like me who have to drive 20 miles per hour because we know that going any faster in the sleet without four-wheel drive is like begging for icy carnage.

It appeared that traffic was backing up behind me a bit. Just to be safe, I slowed down to 15 miles per hour. The other drivers honked their approval.

I made it to work in just under three hours. As the honks of admiration finally faded away, I held my head high. I'd survived the first sleet of the season.

Ahh, I love winter in St. Louis.

Bob Rybarczyk ([brybarczyk@stltoday.com]) is a senior copywriter at Influence US. He
was once thrown out of a Waffle House.

The Machinist

Trevor (Christian Bale) hasn't slept in a year, leading to a shocking deterioration of his physical and mental health. His only solace comes from his call-girl girlfriend (Jennifer Jason Leigh). But Trevor's world becomes a living nightmare when cryptic notes start to turn up in his apartment and he has visions of a co-worker only he can see. R, 110 min.
official site

FIRST MOUND CITY MUSIC FEST TO BENEFIT ESCOVEDO, MUELLER, HABITAT FOR HUMANITY

Son Volt, Jay Farrar, Bottlerockets, Richard Buckner and Anders Parker to perform
Jay Farrar, St. Louis resident and founder of both Uncle Tupelo and Son Volt, will unite musicians from across the country for an evening of performances in support of Karl Mueller, Alejandro Escovedo and Habitat for Humanity St. Louis. The first annual Mound City Music Fest, a special night of music, will be presented by KDHX at Mississippi Nights in St. Louis on Saturday, December 11, 2004. In the same way that Habitat for Humanity unites people from the community to help one another, Jay has invited his fellow musicians to come together for the benefit of other musicians in need as well as the local affiliate of Habitat for Humanity.

Mound City Music Fest will mark the inaugural performance of Son Volt with a line-up that includes Jay Farrar, Dave Bryson, Andrew Duplantis and Brad Rice. The night also features special sets by Jay Farrar, Bottlerockets, Richard Buckner and Anders Parker. The evening will end in collaboration.

Tickets for the event will go on sale November 13 and are $30 in advance and $35 day of show. Doors will open at 7:00 pm and the show will begin at 8:00 pm. Tickets will be available at all Metrotix outlets including the Mississippi Nights box office. To order tickets by phone, please call 314-534-1111.

If you don’t like AmeriGeorge, you’re pretty much hosed

By Bob Rybarczyk
STLtoday.com columnist

The way I figure it, there are 56,350,113 seriously hacked off people out there right now. That’s the number of Americans who voted for someone not named George Bush in last week’s presidential election.

I happen to know quite a few of these disgruntled Americans. One of my friends from work is so distraught about the election that she has been joking about moving to Vancouver. At least, I’m pretty sure she’s joking.

I keep poking my head in her cubicle every day to make sure she’s still there. A small part of me expects that one of these days, I’ll find an empty cubicle, with a note taped to her monitor that reads, “Took off, for the Great White North, took off, it’s a beauty way to go.” <MORE>

Four more years of HELL

Is Google's new Desktop Search software worth the hype?

Google's new Desktop Search software may be too efficient

October 27, 2004

BY MIKE LANGBERG
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS

Google's new Desktop Search software is a muscle car among search engines, racing through personal data stored inside your computer to instantly find things you can't easily locate. But it's also capable of skidding off the road when driven without the appropriate degree of caution. Read the entire article here.

Download desktop.google.com here.

Could St. Louis Be The Next Toronto?

Extreme Makeover
Rollin Stanley is a hotshot city planner -- which begs the question: What the hell is he doing in St. Louis?
By Randall Roberts

As a young kid, Rollin Stanley had a passion for long-distance running -- a fitting pursuit for the man who would someday be charged with rebuilding the ragged physical landscape of St. Louis. Stanley got his start scaling the hills of his rural Ontario birthplace. He began modestly: 1,500 meters. Wanting to run farther, Stanley turned to cross-country, gradually upping his distance to 10,000 ...  MORE »

"PRIMER is the headiest, most singular science-fiction movie since Kubrick made 2001." -Esquire

primermovie.com

Bush on Native American Issues: "Tribal Sovereignty Means That. It's Sovereign"

NPJ: Here is one more reason NOT to vote for Dubya. Partial transcript...

AMY GOODMAN: Here we play the questioning by Mark Trahant. He is the editorial page editor of The Seattle Post Intelligencer, former president of the Native American Journalists Association, questioning President Bush.

MARK TRAHANT: Most school kids learn about government in the context of city, county, state and federal, and of course, tribal governments are not part of that at all. Mr. President, you have been a governor and a president, so you have unique experience looking at it from two directions. What do you think tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century and how do we resolve conflicts between tribes and the federal and state governments?

GEORGE BUSH: Tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. You're a -- you're a -- you have been given sovereignty and you're viewed as a sovereign entity.

MARK TRAHANT: Okay.

NPJ: Bush is a complete IDIOT. Check out
the full story here and be sure to watch the video.

Eddie has left the building

Here is a shot of him waving goodbye before he hit the road for Connecticut last weekend. Safe travels my friend.